Bits and Bobs and Mental Blocks

For months, I've been saying to myself: I really should finish up the final draft of Night of Storms, the third book in my Frostbite series, which is going to be republished with City Owl Press starting in 2024. Which of course means that I don't need this manuscript to BE in tip-top shape for at least 2 to 4 years. YEARS. But it really is almost there, and it's nagging at me. I don't want to start something new in earnest until I know that Night of Storms is put to bed. But my brain has been in survival mode for so long now.

Wake up. Work. Homeschool. Grade. Work. Grade some more. Remember that it's now 3pm and you haven't eaten jack. Scarf something down while watching something mindless on TV because anything I really WANT to watch is not suitable for my children's eyes or ears. Swallow. Prep next day's work. Take a screen break, translated as: do strenuous yard work until the sun goes down. Imbibe caffeine. Clean INSIDE the house. Break up children bickering. Eat. Watch some REAL programming. See if reading is possible. Try to sleep. 

My creative action is winding down.

During the time I should be sleeping is when I've been doing my most creative thinking lately. That is usually true, but I also generally engage in a heavy amount of daydreaming/mental writing that leaves me distracted from actual work until said writing is memorialized on paper or my lifesaving note app on my phone. It happens for new story concepts, which I add to the gigantic pile. It happened for a whole new scene to add for The Shadow of Theron, because apparently it wasn't already big ENOUGH at 119-150k, depending. The entire next day, the rest of the world was in a haze until I penned the last period. And Holy Moses, did it feel good. It felt like "normal." It happened again last night, when some of the pieces for Theron's sequel Argoss Ascendant became clearer. Bits and pieces only, but really clear ones, including dialogue, that I write down to a)stop myself from forgetting and b)to stop being haunted by it until it is written down and I don't HAVE to remember it. 

This is how it is now, apparently. I guess all my neurological/muscular issues are waning just enough to let some creativity slip by, albeit at the expense of my much-needed sleep. We read all the time about how more people who had always aspired to write books were completing them than ever before, due to extra time at home during the pandemic. For me, and for millions of other people (women) too, I've never had LESS time to myself, to be inside my own head and let my imagination run wild. I am needed too much in the here and now, and I'm 'effin exhausted. I'm feeling the December crunch for grades coming due and getting my kids ready to finish up homeschool and go back to face to face learning with their peers (fully vaxxed as of today! Just in time for the next wave of terror!) But my brain can see the light at the end of the tunnel- that blessed month of January where the kids will be in school, there is no more gardening to be done, and I will not be at work. Thank Jesus for Intersession. I finally feel like I can breathe. Just a little. Because other than my wonderful family, I really do live and breathe my stories, and I've been a bit down and lonely without them. Life's much more fun when you live inside your head and have the godlike power to make all the rules. 

As I emerge from finishing my stories to a polish that I can live with, and until further publication announcements are forthcoming, I will be dedicating myself to getting more of my "in my dreams" list to a "work in progress list," and slide something more firmly in front of my desk to work on. Likely, The Transported Man: See the WIP list in my bio for more details. One thing that gets me excited is that NONE of them will ever have to be as long as The Shadow of Theron ever again. It makes the work ahead seem so much simpler.